How did you come up with your ideas?
To be succinct, I’m not quite sure how we stumbled upon our marvelous idea. It seemed a ton of bricks to me, slung deftly at my compatriot’s malleable cranium, which produced this veritable cash cow of an idea. It seemed to stem from our searches on the internet, through the Google search engine. While traversing the wiry frame of the World Wide Web, we happened upon some rather unique cooking utensils. One of these claimed to ‘slice and dice’ potatoes with little to no effort. We decided that a little was too much, and instead wanted the entire process to be automated. So, through the meshing of many a brilliant strand of consciousness, we devised our ultimate solution for cutting through unruly fruits, vegetables, meat, and possibly living poultry. We decided to ditch the outdated medieval blades, ditch the wire meshes, and use the most important and innovate invention of our time… the hallowed laser.
How did you evaluate them for soundness?
To evaluate our maniacally dazzling piece of machinery for soundness, we first worked our way through the mechanics of such a device. Because a laser has no moving parts, it is ideal as an instrument of cutting. No piece of matter between a highly focused laser beam has a chance of surviving in one piece, and we used this sound logic to create a crude mental sketch. We envisaged a metallic housing for the lasers, as well as a reinforced titanium lid to keep prying hands from accidentally meeting their doom.