Tommy Gorgonzola
Forced into the cheese business by his Satyr father, distant cousin of Pan who is coincidentally the best producer of cheese in the myth world. Always asking for dollar bills to buy scratch off tickets. Never wins, and never will win (the fates have literally decided this).
Winstrom Wembly
Twenty-third of the elite twenty-six frogmen soldiers that have sworn to protect the Ancient Watershed with their lives. Very nervous, but when in a perilously high location has nerves of steel and unshakeable focus on the task. Loves cricket cheesecake but is critical of any that aren't his mother's. Stutters and speaks with a New York Jew accent.
Waxon Wiltshire
Nineteenth of the elite twenty-six frogmen protectors of the Ancient Watershed. He is one of the few creatures daring enough to interact with Bleep and has learned a great deal from the old Upchuck. Very perceptive, he realizes the value of Bleep's message in spite of the strangeness of the messenger which has allowed him to realize that both Wallowood and Thistlewhistle have been actively plotting to take control of the Ancient Watershed. Consequently, divulging this has allowed him to rally the remaining frogmen and drive home the importance of defending the Ancient Watershed.
Princess Bramblebrush
A lithe, slinky young woman with an unbroken streak of terrible behavior and disobedience towards authority. She often has steamy liasons with men and women from the rival Terrorthorn Kingdom, a practice her father, King Wallowood highly disapproves of. Her intentions are mostly unknown, but seem to generally involve self-satisfaction by seeking and finding attention through sexual means. Generally any party complicit with her actions are met with death, as Wallowood and Count Thistlewhistle, the sovereign of Terrorthorn, have a deep seated mutual hatred for each other.
Wavena Whiterapid
Fifteenth of the elite... well you get the gist by now. She deserves a biography and by golly she'll get one. Wavena is from a proud and long lineage of Ancient Watershed protectors. Indeed it's been rumored the legendary Wix Walloon Whiterapid himself, the originator of the guard, is a blood relative of hers. Raised on stories of the guard and understanding it's creation was necessitated by an ancient war between kingdoms, she treats her post with stoic duty. Sometimes abrasive and rigid, she cares a great deal for all fellow members of the Ancient Watershed protectors although she wishes Protector Wiltshire would spend less time with the idiosyncratic Bleep and focus on his drills.
Embruligo Fabrige
A disembodied sock puppet that can't do anything for himself due to lack of limbs but is incredibly critical of any attempt to help him. Nothing is ever good enough, but surprisingly people don't hate him, for his insults are just witty enough to be charming. Constantly smells like a rotten cabbage. Pops up at inopportune times and breaks the 4th wall. Named after the Fabrige egg because he's fragile, not because he's pretty.
Bleep
An elder Upchuck, living upstream of the Ancient Watershed. He's lived there for 70 years so far and has seen the fall of the Pizwhizzle Empire give way to the rise of both the Terrorthorn and Roseheart Kingdoms. He believes neither sovereign is in the right, but most consider the elder Upchuck a menace and a loon and disregard his opinions due to his unusual habits, one of which involves hiding food under his scrotum.
Eustace Vermillion
Owner of a highly successful chain of convenience stores which surprisingly have been constructed in both of the hostile kingdoms as well as many other places in the mythical lands. Amazingly good at manipulation of others to get exactly everything he wants. Notoriously difficult to deal with, and has demanding, nearly impossible-to-meet standards for his franchisees and employees alike. His father was Provost Vermillion, the man responsible for making peanut butter cheese rolls a global phenomenon. Eustace markets these as his flagship product.
Hoops Jelly
A bananatee that has become world famous for doing amazing tricks on command, including raising sunken ships with only his strength and climbing Mt. Trasheap while hobbled by bolas made of sinew and skulls.
Schreven Raffalais
A botanist known for his performance enhancing concoctions that often leave the user permanently altered in a negative way after use. His products are sold through many shady liaisons that can be found throughout myth world, but predominantly in the larger cities outside shady taverns in poorer districts. The most notorious, Goliath's Strength, can only be administered intravenously and often leaves the user with permanent bald patches on their scalp. Regular users of the injection are derogatorily nicknamed Chessies because the bald patterns often resemble a chess board. All authentic serums are watermarked with a hologram with the initials S. I. R. (as his middle name is Ira).
Vibrasnake
This renowned creature has been made famous by its inimitable ability to oscillate to over 20 gigahertz. Scientists in the Terrorthorn kingdom have reportedly been able to harness this phenomenon to power a deadly new weapon, which will assuredly be pointing directly toward the Roseheart Kingdom's center.
Blap
A young Upchuck living near Bleep's coven upstream of the Ancient Watershed. He has heard many stories of old Bleep and keeps his distance from the smelly senile senior. Although cautiously optimistic about the path his life is currently on, he dreams bigger than he allows himself to achieve and feels depressed due to his lack of motivation. Probably me.
Edzio Eduardo
A baker well known in the Roseheart Kingdom for his incorporation of exotic ingredients in the many puffs, pastries, pasties, pies, and profiteroles he crafts for the royal Wallowood family. Due to his high quality bakes, he is one of the very few able to spend a night with the princess and live through the following day to tell about it.
King Wallowood
The appointed ruler of the Roseheart Kingdom, a phoenix of a fiefdom which arose from the ashes of the Pizzwhizzle Empire. Wallowood rules his subjects with an iron fist and ruthlessly exploits weakness for personal gain. His father, King Galvin of Wallowood, was instrumental in rebuilding the kingdom. Wallowood's spies have returned with messages that Thistlewistle is building up a military force in preparation of taking the Ancient Watershed by force, therefore controlling the region's main supply of magical freshwater. Though Wallowood curses the frogmen Protectors for his inability to sway them to fight for his kingdom, he grudgingly accepts their importance in keeping the balance between the kingdoms in check. Of course, this doesn't preclude Wallowood from concocting his own grand schemes for overtaking the Watershed to gain his own measure of control by force. He who controls the water controls the region, after all.
Count Thistlewistle
The sovereign of the Thistlewhistle kingdom, a counterpart to the Roseheart Kingdom that likewise arose from the Pizzwhizzle Empire. Thistlewistle seized power via a violent coup that ended in the execution of the ruling Treaclesbough family and exile of any remaining living relatives. Next to Thistlewistle, King Wallowood looks downright saintly. One who prefers to mince his enemies to his words, Thistlewistle declares things in a blunt manner and puts the heads of any challengers upon spikes. A terrified but formidable garrison has been established near the city walls and has only grown over recent months. Bleep, astute and appropriately alarmed at the sudden increase in forces, has been doing his best to warn the free denizens of the myth world that a dark cloud is forming.
The Fates
In myth world the Fates have the final say. Clotho, time-line spinner. Lachesis, lifespan in her hands. Atropos, finally, snips the thread. All mortals are bound to ruling of the fates, and they are impossible to defy. They have no real interest in day to day events nor real ability to focus on such fleeting concerns, rather they are focused on correctly spinning, measuring, and snipping each mortal's lifeline.